littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Friday Fictioneers – Trapped

18 Comments

Early morning, just the way I like it. Barbed wire, not so much.

This was my favourite part of the day, before my parents woke up and started working me into my own mental grave, trapping me into my entire life.

A bundle of barbed wire hung off the fence; that wasn’t there yesterday. I took it up. Perhaps there’s something else I can do with this.

I smiled. If I could trap them the same way they trapped me here, maybe I could escape and make my own life. If I could escape this farm… maybe I’d see what they’re really hiding me from.

Madison Woods‘ blog.

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Author: littlewonder2

I'm 23, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

18 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Trapped

  1. HI LIttle Wonder2: Wow…thought provoking. Would like to see this expanded. Wonder how and why your parents have you trapped? Is it real or in your mind? And how did you pick up the barbed wire without tearing up your hands? Here’s mine:
    www. triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    • Did it really sound like it was actually me talking, or are you referring to the character?

      Either way, the scenario I had in mind was a teenager who lives on a farm in encircled with barbed fencing, and isn’t allowed to leave the property.

      It is supposed to be real. The character spread out their fingers to avoid the barbs.

      I know, it’s probably not clear. I could find a way to make it clearer with just 100 words, and still tell the story.

  2. Sounds like it has the makings of a good psychological thriller. The wire is hard to pick up because it’s heavy and there’s no good way to do it without gloves. If she’s a farm girl, she probably carries gloves in her pocket (I do). Great story!

  3. Ooh. This gave me the shivers. I’m a big fan of flash fiction and this is flash fiction at its best – it leaves me wanting so much more, yet at the same time the story is also so good on its own.

  4. You were able to aptly describe the desperation of the cornered and trapped. Wonderful.
    Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/26/friday-fictioneer-6/

  5. This is great! Opened the mind and let the reader’s imagination go wild. Loved it! Here’s mine. http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/04/hes-mean-one.html

  6. How concisely you portrayed the restlessness and “trapped” feeling of the character. I think we all had a “taste” of those feelings before we became independent. All of us were in such a hurry to “grow up” and be “free.” Nicely done.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  7. The gloves were there in my imagination. Good job I remember that feeling. Here’s mine. http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-story/

  8. I liked the concept of parents working you into your mental grave. That captures a certain type of relationship beautifully. Nice work.

    Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/

  9. Perhaps a metaphor for many people who feel trapped in their lives. Well done! My story is at http://wp.me/p1WuR1-Ss.

  10. She is ready to flee and find her own way. I wonder what she will come across, what struggles will be had, and, I wonder if mother and father will trail after. Nicely done.

    Here’s mine:

    http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

  11. I was picturing this character turning into a psycho to get away from the folks. Not a big fan of farming apparently. I understand though that need to get away and see what else there is despite how much your parents want you to stay. Quite stifling.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/

  12. I don’t know anyone who as a growing kid didn’t have issues with his/her parents at some point in time. But this kid’s folks seem to be a genuine cause of concern! Interesting take on the prompt.

    Parul

    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/building-boundaries/

  13. Loved “mental grave”. Life must be quite awful for this kid if barbed wire is the best option.

    Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/27/scraped/

  14. It’s one thing when your parents figuratively trap you. It’s another when they literally trap you. A solid, well-written story. Thanks for sharing!
    Here’s mine: http://the-drabbler.com/trespass/

  15. Devastating portrait of twisted hope emerging from the darkest kind of despair. I felt myself empathizing with your main character in an major way! What an accomplishment for a 100 word story. Well done!

    My story: http://wp.me/pReXn-fv

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