littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Friday Fictioneers – The Night

25 Comments

A giant flashlight shines through the black sky and dirty clouds. It was like a beacon of hope to those of us way down here, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the world to listen to our pleas.

The flood is rising. Those of us still left alive might not be far away from death now. The trees stretching above us might be higher ground enough. But the pressure of the waters might also be enough to knock them off their roots.

I don’t want to be there when all those trees are there to help me drown. But I know I’m not the only one.

From Madison Woods‘ blog.

Inspiration has struck twice! Here’s my second piece:

Cars whizzed by in the city as the eclipse began. People pass in the streets, in coffee shops, museums, workplaces, back and forth as though it were just a normal day.

Gone in centuries are the days when humans would gather together in numbers just to watch a solar eclipse with their protective equipment.

Now there is nothing to look at; without the moon completely blotting out the sun, it’s just as though the clouds have passed over, with no majesty in it at all. The moon has just grown too distant, interest has gone stale.

Now the only ones who look are the children, pointing upwards in curiosity before their parents pull them along disapprovingly.

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Author: littlewonder2

I'm 23, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

25 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Night

  1. Interesting take on the prompt!
    I never thought of this, but seems so obvious now that you brought it up!
    Really liked the first paragraph!

    Here’s my attempt this week:
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/the-start/

  2. Nice sense of foreboding with acceptance. I liked it a lot.

    Here’s my offering this week: http://bit.ly/IHVI6r

  3. i like works with tension and when something is on the verge of happening. thanks for something good to read.

  4. I love this! The desperation and despair are clear, but at the same time there is a pervasive hope. The mingled mess of emotions in a situation that is, of course, engorged with emotion, has been so very well portrayed here.

    I think this is my favorite of your drabbles!

    Excellent work!

    http://quillshiv.com/

  5. It’s already been said, but I too liked the combination of fear mingled with hope. I’m left wondering how this turns out for them!
    Ours is 160 words at http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/moon-and-sky

  6. I really hope this ended well. So descriptive without being contrived, great job.

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-blindsighted

  7. I dig that second story a lot! Nice work.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/she-called-to-him/

  8. I have to agree with Quill. This is my favorite of yours so far.

    My attempt: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/death-cart/

  9. Two, two, two doomsdays in one! Okay the second is more a whimper than a bang but in a way, the second is more foreboding because to me it still felt like it was coming, but taking longer.

    Here’s mine for today.
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/stay/

  10. I prefered the second, it seemed to have more of an ominous tone. Both were good, don’t get me wrong! mine is here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/its-here-the-weekend-is-nigh-fridayfictioneers-on-buffalo-river/

  11. I especially like the second one. They were both good, and the first one offered such a different perspective. But I really liked the second one….captured how we have lost the wonder that we used to have about the natural world. My attempt: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers/

  12. I like both stories! The second one has novel possibilities I want to know what happened to the moon.
    Here’s mine http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-flash-fiction-2/

    • Thanks. The second idea was actually based off the fact that the moon is drifting further away from Earth every year. If you learn about how the Earth was formed, it used to be much closer. Blame it on the expanding universe.

      It probably would be a novel idea. I probably wouldn’t be the one to write it though. In that world, there’d probably also be other consequences, but this was just a snapshot of life in that world.

  13. The Night was a great story of apocalypse or just heavy rains in levee country. Either way I enjoyed it and commend you for putting it to paper for us.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/last-of-the-first/

  14. When you follow so many talented writers, it’s hard to think of an original comment. I’m going to just say “Ditto” to the previous comments and defer them.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  15. Dark and wonderful. Yet again.

  16. You’re a real dynamo. Two intriguing storiies from the same prompt!
    Here’s my story: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

  17. Nice. I liked your second one a lot. Eclipses definitely did seem like the end of the world back then.

    Here’s mine:

    http://glossarch.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/persistence-friday-fictioneers/

  18. Love everything end of the world. You do a great job of showing despair in language and discription. Nicely dark. I lightened things up a little this week, just for a change.

    http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneers-et-wannabe/

  19. When you began your story with the giant flashlight, my mind went to something out of War of the Worlds. Those long-legged spider machines walking taller than the trees, searching for survivors, but not to save them.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/flash-fiction-friday-3/

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