The link above is to a free verse poem that describes my novel-in-progress’ main character, Dawn, to a tee.
It’s sad, really. But the funny thing is, I was hoping to make her sympathetic in the beginning, as a way to prove a point; that however easy it is to relate or sympathise with someone who has had nothing but hurt in life, there’s a thin line.
But then again, it’s the consumption of hate. She could start out perfectly innocent, couldn’t she? Well, not perfectly… Dawn isn’t exactly pure of heart, but she has convictions, and she sticks hard to them.
Perhaps that’s the most dangerous thing about her; the strength of her convictions, and where they lead her to.
I considered it a challenge to my writing ability, as with so many other things; can I evoke that emotion in someone, to make them root for the wrong person?
They do it all the time in popular fiction. You go step by step; as with any plot, you raise the stakes. Of course, it’s hard when it’s the main character and not the villian you’re mystifying, a character whose every thoughts you’re meant to see.
Even if you could, would it be justifiable considering her level of deep bitterness over her unjust life?
The real point here is the line between a call for justice and the deliverance of unjust cruelty. I feel like I’m writing a cliche here. If I was honest, the real reason I want to use the plot is that when you’re looking at things from your own point of view, everything looks just, all your motives, actions and logic. It’s a home chord that I really want to illustrate over a range of viewpoints, highlighting the true falsehood of that thought no matter who you are, or what your reasons.
In the past, I have hated people for no other reason than that I felt offended by them. I’ve always been an outcast before, and I’ve resented the people who rejected me; that is a given. But the people I hated, I felt singled out by and somewhat attacked by.
In at least one circumstance, though, I suddenly found myself in a situation where that same person (half of a double collective) broke from their usual routine and encouraged me and uplifted me. At the time, I had been so focused on how I felt that I’d wanted to back away from, when it had suddenly hit me.
Despite the relative fear at what I was trying to do, that kind of turn around helped inch me towards taking the plunge. (This wasn’t anything to do with water, despite that pun; I was about to sand-surf down a gigantic slope.)
It’s that sort of situation that I wanted to reveal through Dawn, only without having her come to that self-awareness. I wanted to show how far gone that kind of mentality could lead a person…
…To a consumption of hate.