littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Flash Fictioneers – Jewels

30 Comments

She had never felt like such a failure.

Reputation shattered, stolen stock, foreign packages containing souvenirs of her journey to hell. She had never thought when she’d started a simple home business that it would end up like this. Where did it all go wrong?

Of course, she knew the answer to that; in her desperation to rake up enough money to make ends meet, she had picked up the wrong customers, who had not only taken her for everything she was worth, but framed her for a long list of their own crimes that went years back.

The jewels and the bills addressed to her business was the last thing she saw before she left for court on the final day. They found her guilty.

“Ultimate Fail”. Prompt from Madison Woods‘ blog.

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Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

30 thoughts on “Flash Fictioneers – Jewels

  1. Very mysterious. I like how the story is linked to the narrators sinister past.

  2. Hi LittleWonder2… Wow. I like this. Very well done. Didn’t expect the surprising twist at the end. Here’s mine:

    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  3. Hmm, there’s a moral here somewhere. Greed leads to? Very nicely done.

    Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/01/friday-fictioneer-2/

  4. Poor woman. All she wanted to do was earn a living. Nice one, with an intriguing back story.

    Mine’s at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/dark-heart-friday-fictioneers-2nd-march-2012/

  5. I hope she gets some sort of payback. Sounds like a good revenge story or at least the start of a new path for her – if she ever gets out of jail…! Nice work.

    http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/flash-fiction-friday-bloody-jewels/

  6. Bummer for her. That’s gotta suck, but it’s a good reminder to be careful!! Great work. 🙂

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/fools-gold/

  7. Nice warning on the dangers of home businesses via the internet. 🙂 Very intriguing tale.

  8. You have to feel sorry for her, but so sad the jury found her guilty. This would make a great idea for a longer story.

  9. It does make me wonder what she had done to deserve framing, or was she just easy prey for the darker criminal minds? I feel sorry for her but, at the same time, realise that maybe she got herself into the mess by dealing with the wrong people when she should have known better.

    Great story.

  10. Oh no! It does sound like a serious misjudgment of business and what a sad ending to it all. I think, as others have noted, that intriguing is the right word to describe this. Excellent.

  11. I like the line, “souvenirs of her journey to hell” Good job, little wonder. Welcome to Friday Flash Fictioners

  12. There’s potential here for a character who can show tremendous growth from start to finish of a novel. She starts out naive and easily taken, pays for crimes she didn’t commit, goes to prison where the experience can either cause her to become vengeful and plotting, or she could gain a new determination to learn and become a savvy and very successful business-woman. Guess which route I’d choose? Good story.

  13. This is really good, a very clear structure and hooks you in. Hope she gets back on her feet again.

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/friday-fictioneers-2-without-a-trace/

  14. It started out and I was so confused, but slowly everything came together. I really liked how crisp and void of emotion the last two sentences were. It made them very strong.

  15. What a dizzying downward spiral to hell! No wonder so many small businesses fail! I hope she gets a lenient sentence.

  16. like the story…you are inspiring me to continue work on my half written forgotten stories… i have actually manged to complete 7 more pages of a story i once started n left…thanks little wonder

  17. Dear Littlewonder,

    You painted your character righ tinto the corner and then left her there for us to ponder over. No hope for the future, no solace or absolution on the horizon. A stark end to a sad tale. Well written and dark.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/you-are-free-to-do-what-we-tell-you/

  18. This was wonderful! I love how sinister it is!

    Here’s mine:

    http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com

  19. Oh, my–sounds like an onimous future for the lady–would enjoy reading how whe overcomes. Nice plot.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  20. Wow! This is very intriguing. She was set up, but how?
    What made her so defenseless?
    This makes a great excerpt to keep the reader hooked.
    You should complete this piece!

    Here’s mine –
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/the-real-thing/

  21. I love female protagonists with dangerous, mysterious professions. Thanks for sharing this.

    My take on this week’s prompt is here: http://bit.ly/vYUdU3

  22. Oh man, what a sad tale. Let’s hope for justice somehow.

  23. Oh my… the first line. Hurry to see why. Said to hear. Guilty… oh my. Nice…

    http://tedstrutz.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/friday-fictioneers-1-semi-precious-gememoirs/

  24. In might sound odd, but I’m glad you didn’t provide the poor woman with an out. It can be difficult to leave a sympathetic character in such a terrible, hopeless position. But it’s a surefire way to provoke an emotional response in your readers.

  25. You’ve done a really good job of conveying the despair of a character in a very tight spot. Well done.

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