She had never felt like such a failure.
Reputation shattered, stolen stock, foreign packages containing souvenirs of her journey to hell. She had never thought when she’d started a simple home business that it would end up like this. Where did it all go wrong?
Of course, she knew the answer to that; in her desperation to rake up enough money to make ends meet, she had picked up the wrong customers, who had not only taken her for everything she was worth, but framed her for a long list of their own crimes that went years back.
The jewels and the bills addressed to her business was the last thing she saw before she left for court on the final day. They found her guilty.
—
“Ultimate Fail”. Prompt from Madison Woods‘ blog.
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March 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Very mysterious. I like how the story is linked to the narrators sinister past.
March 2, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Hi LittleWonder2… Wow. I like this. Very well done. Didn’t expect the surprising twist at the end. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
March 2, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Hmm, there’s a moral here somewhere. Greed leads to? Very nicely done.
Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/01/friday-fictioneer-2/
March 2, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Poor woman. All she wanted to do was earn a living. Nice one, with an intriguing back story.
Mine’s at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/dark-heart-friday-fictioneers-2nd-march-2012/
March 2, 2012 at 11:16 pm
I hope she gets some sort of payback. Sounds like a good revenge story or at least the start of a new path for her – if she ever gets out of jail…! Nice work.
http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/flash-fiction-friday-bloody-jewels/
March 3, 2012 at 1:24 am
Bummer for her. That’s gotta suck, but it’s a good reminder to be careful!! Great work. 🙂
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/fools-gold/
March 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Nice warning on the dangers of home businesses via the internet. 🙂 Very intriguing tale.
March 3, 2012 at 7:01 pm
You have to feel sorry for her, but so sad the jury found her guilty. This would make a great idea for a longer story.
March 3, 2012 at 7:46 pm
It does make me wonder what she had done to deserve framing, or was she just easy prey for the darker criminal minds? I feel sorry for her but, at the same time, realise that maybe she got herself into the mess by dealing with the wrong people when she should have known better.
Great story.
March 3, 2012 at 11:24 pm
Oh no! It does sound like a serious misjudgment of business and what a sad ending to it all. I think, as others have noted, that intriguing is the right word to describe this. Excellent.
March 3, 2012 at 11:43 pm
I like the line, “souvenirs of her journey to hell” Good job, little wonder. Welcome to Friday Flash Fictioners
March 4, 2012 at 1:04 am
Thank you 🙂
March 4, 2012 at 1:05 am
There’s potential here for a character who can show tremendous growth from start to finish of a novel. She starts out naive and easily taken, pays for crimes she didn’t commit, goes to prison where the experience can either cause her to become vengeful and plotting, or she could gain a new determination to learn and become a savvy and very successful business-woman. Guess which route I’d choose? Good story.
March 4, 2012 at 1:07 am
Thank you.
As for my guess, savvy and successful business woman?
March 4, 2012 at 1:08 am
🙂 That’s right. Best route to revenge is to become better at something than the (perceived) enemy.
March 4, 2012 at 1:10 am
🙂 I read a story like that once. Yeah, that is a good perspective to have.
March 4, 2012 at 1:20 am
This is really good, a very clear structure and hooks you in. Hope she gets back on her feet again.
http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/friday-fictioneers-2-without-a-trace/
March 4, 2012 at 4:07 am
It started out and I was so confused, but slowly everything came together. I really liked how crisp and void of emotion the last two sentences were. It made them very strong.
March 4, 2012 at 4:32 am
What a dizzying downward spiral to hell! No wonder so many small businesses fail! I hope she gets a lenient sentence.
March 4, 2012 at 5:16 am
like the story…you are inspiring me to continue work on my half written forgotten stories… i have actually manged to complete 7 more pages of a story i once started n left…thanks little wonder
March 4, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Dear Littlewonder,
You painted your character righ tinto the corner and then left her there for us to ponder over. No hope for the future, no solace or absolution on the horizon. A stark end to a sad tale. Well written and dark.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/you-are-free-to-do-what-we-tell-you/
March 5, 2012 at 2:32 am
This was wonderful! I love how sinister it is!
Here’s mine:
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
March 5, 2012 at 8:56 am
Oh, my–sounds like an onimous future for the lady–would enjoy reading how whe overcomes. Nice plot.
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
March 5, 2012 at 11:13 am
Wow! This is very intriguing. She was set up, but how?
What made her so defenseless?
This makes a great excerpt to keep the reader hooked.
You should complete this piece!
Here’s mine –
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/the-real-thing/
March 5, 2012 at 11:18 am
I love female protagonists with dangerous, mysterious professions. Thanks for sharing this.
My take on this week’s prompt is here: http://bit.ly/vYUdU3
March 5, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Oh man, what a sad tale. Let’s hope for justice somehow.
March 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Oh my… the first line. Hurry to see why. Said to hear. Guilty… oh my. Nice…
http://tedstrutz.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/friday-fictioneers-1-semi-precious-gememoirs/
March 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm
In might sound odd, but I’m glad you didn’t provide the poor woman with an out. It can be difficult to leave a sympathetic character in such a terrible, hopeless position. But it’s a surefire way to provoke an emotional response in your readers.
March 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Why, thank you, Jake.
March 10, 2012 at 5:52 am
You’ve done a really good job of conveying the despair of a character in a very tight spot. Well done.