littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Take Responsibility

2 Comments

It’s easy to hide in a crowd
but it’s so unsatisfying.
It leads to a life of desperation and griping
because others are making your life choices,
and you are following.
Take control of your life.
Make your own decisions.
Take responsibility for them.
Proudly chart your own course.

I recently read this from a new book I have, ‘Now Is The Time, 170 ways to seize the moment’. It cut me deep, because it’s all so true.

I guess that makes me irresponsible. It definitely means I never “seize the moment,” I only ever live off that dream. I love the movie Dead Poet’s Society, and now I think it’s maybe because it allows me to live through the characters, and objectively judge them as they go through their journeys.

In truth, I think them reckless, I always have. But on another level, “…carpe diem. Seize the moment…” I can respect their awkward bravery, because I will never be that. Or so I often say.

I don’t want anyone’s pity about it. Yet at the same time, though I always hate to admit it, I want to be noticed. The reason I always hide in the crowd is because it takes the pressure off, and nobody ever notices me anyway. I’ve heard sayings about people being two thirds dead, and I often relate to them.

All this is described best in my self-described theme song, Human by Darren Criss.

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Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

2 thoughts on “Take Responsibility

  1. I think I have suffered all my life from that. It’s caused by fear in my case. Fear of what people will think if I act differently than I’ve acted all my life. Fear that people I care about will disapprove of the me who ‘acts’ instead of ‘reacts’ to everything. Fear of making a mistake and choosing the wrong action. Fear of failure, and fear of success. It’s all fears of being responsible for my own life. I recently decided to just get over it and barge through it all in spite of my fears. It’s getting easier finally, but it sure was hard at first.

    • I can relate deeply to all of that. It must have been hard recently barging through it like that. I’m glad to hear it’s getting better for you, though.

      Largely, I fear the unpredictability and the feeling of being judged most of all. But of course, there’s also the fact that I feel controlled and withdrawn by my mother. (I wonder if that’s where it started…)

      Maybe at some point I’ll feel up to the point where I can’t help but take the same action as you too. Maybe I’ll feel unhindered for once.

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