littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Friday Fictioneers – Halfway Bridge

31 Comments

Hidden from life, yet visible and hospitable, this place was his own. No one came here anymore.

Just outside of town, this was his escape from all the noise and expectation that pressured his mind. He liked the cool dark of the tunnel. It felt peaceful to him, and nobody ever found him here.

Both paths led back to town. But the other side of the tunnel above forked to somewhere unknown. Countless times he lingered at the edge of the tunnel, wondering. But regardless of whether he went or not, it would be no better. He knew from experience that people, no matter who they are or how they differ, endlessly expect everything from you.

He was tired of trying to match up.

Thanks to Madison Woods.

Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

31 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Halfway Bridge

  1. I know just how he feels!

  2. I really like your friday fiction. Maybe I’m biased because I like super short fiction like this anyway, but either way you’re really good at setting a mood and developing a story in few words.

  3. NIcely done. Good tone. I think in your last sentence though one of your “to”‘s should be a different word. I really like this.

    Here’s mine: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/04/fridayfictioneers-nightmare-tunnel.html

  4. Good draw into real feelings. I was with him and understood him. Cool

    Here is mine: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-tz

    Kris

  5. You aptly linked the guy’s situtation to the tunnel; down and out, where no one is likey to find him, infact he is not willing to be found as he makes the dark tunnel with its many secrets his hideaway. Good link between the guy’s dark moods and the tunnel.

    Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-eloped/

  6. We all feel like this from time to time… there’s a bridge in Lincoln which asks ‘Where are you going’ and ‘Where have you been’ on each side. Your story added quite a lot of meaning to that!

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-going-under/

  7. I think we all need a hiding place from time to time. Mine is here on the computer where I escape in the fiction I write or in the work of my friends!
    Great post!

  8. Nicely done. I’m glad he has a private place to escape all the pressure he feels. We all need a place like that from time to time.

    My story, “Shell Shocked” is here: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/

  9. …aren’t we all, so tired of attempting to be what others want. This really spoke to me. Thank you.

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-3/

  10. Thoughtful and deep! I wanted to tell him to stop trying to match up…be who you are.

    http://swthink.blogspot.com/2012/04/michael.html

  11. I’m not sure why but I had the feeling your protagonist had Asperger’s or mild autism and just wanted to escape somewhere peaceful knowing that no matter where he / she went nothing would change.

    Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/

  12. Sounds like the perfect man cave.

  13. i’ll have to say this carefully or i might piss someone off. this was the best one i read all day. and i’ve read about 40. you didn’t spend time searching for the perfect adjective for the way someone’s hair moved. you created a setting that has an attitude without worrying about the actual setting. you created a person with an attitude without worrying about his height or weight or hair color. and you created a problem that the man has with the setting, and that the setting has with the man. you didn’t paint a perfect visual picture, because a visual picture isn’t needed yet. you created drama. a story is drama, not adjectives about the setting and the visuals.

    ps. i didn’t say that carefully. and if i offended anyone’s work, i apologize. i’m not qualified to have offended anyone.

  14. I know some others have expressed the same thought, but this could have been written about me, or for me, at the very least. I identified with your protagonist’s dilemma. The greatest stress in my life has come from the knowledge that I don’t live up to other people’s expectations. Your story really hit home. Thanks for writing it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  15. I’d like to be in a place like that too!
    Good work! 🙂

  16. You captured quite a character here. I identify with his need for peace and quiet but feel this dude is out-of-control, depressed and a bit suicidal. Not wanting to see or know what lies above the tunnel is a clue that he is in deep trouble. Nice work. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  17. Well done.

    I’m interested in following the other path.

  18. I think most of us have felt this way at some point. You’ve captured the feeling beautifully. Well-done.

    http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-1-for-fridayfictioneers/

  19. You can feel his frustration and need to find something, else . I like that feeling of urgent need to escape.

  20. I like how you described the character by his emotions, instead of physical features, it portrays who a character is much better.

  21. Lots of heartache and pain and disappointment. Such is life, I guess. Great read. Thanks for your post on my site!

  22. This story is a lot closer to what I actually get out of visiting there. A little respite from the world’s expectations. Great tale 🙂

  23. A secret place… nice. I think we all feel like this sometimes.

    I was a little confused with the second paragraph. “Both paths led back to town. But the other side of the road above led to somewhere unknown.” Is there a third path? (I can see what you mean from the photograph, but without the image the words become harder to interpret.)

    I was intrigued by what he saw that we didn’t. Why hasn’t he crossed the road before? Why couldn’t it be better? What was he unable to match up to?

    You definitely left me wanting more 🙂

  24. I feel his pain. I wonder if his family and relative are missing him. And how does he get his food? Thought provoking.

    Have a great weekened.

  25. I like the feeling of possibility, tempered by the already cynical belief that the other side will be no better. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, till you jump the fence, and discover it’s the same color.

  26. A very well written insight into someone’s private world. You give a very strong sense of character here and deal with matters we all relate to in some way.

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