I had his confidence. I had confidence in our confidence. I guess that shows where trust will get you.
It felt like there was a weight in my chest; or a kettle bell… I dragged myself around all day, watching girls giggling and boys sneering. There were no men nor women here. What they had in years they lacked in maturity. Story of my life.
He told everyone my most intimate disgrace. It wasn’t a true disgrace, but judging by the faces around me and the feelings they gave me, it was my disgrace. They hated me. You couldn’t tell by their light-hearted faces, but that was the game they played. I hated them.
“Hey, Belle,” they cried. “Wanna do the nasty?” teased Rob. “Or would you prefer to carpet munch Tracy?” taunted Erin. “You greedy bitch,” stabbed Alex. “Bisexuals don’t really exist, you lezzo,” whined Sam, “why don’t you just come out and stop hanging yourself in the closet!”
That crossed the line. “I do exist,” I shouted at him. “How would you like it if I said you didn’t exist, you ignorant prick –?”
“But I do exist,” he said flatly, slightly confused.
“And what the hell is your problem, making light of the gay suicides? How would you like to be driven over the edge by everyone calling you gay, or saying you didn’t matter at all? Because that’s what you’re doing! And you know what’s even worse is that there’s not even anything true in it at all! We all exist, even if you’re too scared to admit it!”
“I’m not scared of any of you!” he retorted. “You’re all sick! None of those things would ever happen anyway, because I’m not gay –”
“Some of those suicides happened just from people thinking they were gay. For all we know, you could be.”
“As if,” he said. “I’m a stud.”
“Now,” I retorted. “But you wouldn’t be if rumours strong enough ever spread. Think about it.”
They whispered scandalously. I left.
Confidence, from this week’s Trifecta.