I’m not after a reward for writing this, just understand that. I was urged to write this post even before I saw the giveaway (which I couldn’t enter even if I actually wanted to) anyway.
I’m referring to the post in the second link above. It is a post from the first link above, but I found it confusing to find that post from the home page so, you’re welcome.
What label are you trying to shed?
Well, if I were any label at all, there is of course the one that jumps out at me straight away, the one I can’t refuse: loner.
But am I trying to shed that label? At first I didn’t think so. I’m not making much of a true effort to make friends. Even when I make friends, I usually leave them behind moving forward to the next place.
But then, I do have facebook. I do have friends, or at least acquaintances, who I have left behind in the past there. Not all of them, but a fair amount at least.
But more important than that is the fact that I rarely leave the house for anything but necessity. I go to work. I go to eat. I join the family in some joint activity, like when we went out for dinner on my sister’s birthday. I join members of my family for similar, if less rare, occasions. But I still don’t go of my own accord.
I go to the gym sometimes. This is a new thing, and something my freshly weight-conscious mind has directed me to. Well, that and the fantasy of surfing has made me want to perfect the art of paddling and manouevring the board based on how I did in Hawaii last year.
Of course, going to the gym regularly is not a big deal, and the way I eat is of course as bad as ever. But that’s not my point in this post.
The point is that it tests me. I never go unless I’m driven, even though I could probably take the bus if I put the effort in. And sometimes I don’t go too close to equipment or hang around too long in case I look like an idiot who’s trying to figure something out, or I look out of place.
Because really, me being there feels out of place, if to no one else but me. I’ve started eating salads sometimes at least, but there’s still a fair bit to the healthy lifestyle that embarrasses me to do. I always thought before in my life that the average lifestyle is enough, and that I don’t have to step too far outside of it to remain relatively healthy.
I’m nearly 100 kilos. Clearly I was wrong.
But the reason I told myself that in the first place was because I was afraid of appearing even more out of sync with the world than I already was.
So there is one facet of my life about which I’m trying to shed that label.
But are there any others? Well, not that I can think of, unless connecting with people on facebook or this blog counts.