littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Friday Fictioneers – Suicide Shed

17 Comments

She went to examine the shed. It looked clean.

Of course, it was a mess, breaking down from the stress of years out in these conditions. But it was clean.

And to think, just last night her life had been shattered by what she had found there; her sister had died. More than died, committed suicide.

She had bawled her eyes out over it, cried an impossible amount of tears, cried until she had no tears left.

And then she had cleaned it all up, somehow. She didn’t want her sister’s memory tainted, and she didn’t want them to know the undignified way she had gone, all because of him.

From Madison Woods‘ blog.

Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

17 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Suicide Shed

  1. two things. i think it’s “un”dignified, but i’m not sure. also, if you saved a few words, maybe you could have put something in there about her wanting to get revenge on the guy. but anyone can second guess. regardless, i’m sure it’ll easily be in the top three that i read tomorrow. nice going.

    • Thanks.😀 Fast reply, by the way.

      Also thanks for the correction; I was confusing undignified with indignant.😛

      • i like reading your work. you have attitude that comes through. you’re not hung up on overdone adjectives. too many young writers, well hell, old ones too, spend too much time trying to find the best adjectives to describe the sound of the rain. just write it was raining. the important thing is to write what people are doing and why they are doing it. that’s where the stories are. not in the sound of the rain. nobody cares about the smell of an old house. they care about a girl whose sister committed suicide and how the girl is trying to do anything to allow for positive thoughts for her dead sister.

      • Thank you! I appreciate those comments whenever you voice them. They make me very proud of myself.😀

  2. I wish it had a bit more emotion. This was her sister killing herself over a guy. I think it would’ve been more interesting if the subject was her finding her sister rather than the aftermath. You wrote it well however.

    Here’s mine: http://t.co/nH0gFGpK

  3. Sadly intense. I had to read a few times to know who the “she” was that cleaned up…but I like the imagery in simplicity…it carries itself well…without painting the picture for me

    Here is mine: http://integrativethought.wordpress.com

  4. I sure wish you’d do another 100 on how she goes after the ‘him’.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

  5. You hit on an interesting fact here, how to some people reputation is more important than truth. I’m also very interested in hearing more about who the ‘him’ is and if the sister has any plans for his ‘reputation.’

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/03/friday-fictioneers-the-gig/

  6. A great story in the making, with all the right ingredients, love, betrayal, death and possible revenge. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/fridayfictioneers-lost-without-you/

  7. Good job, and a nice reminder that character motivation and state of mind can really drive a story. Definitely has the feeling of a good launching point for a longer piece.

    -Brian (mine is here: http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/04/renovations/)

  8. She detached herself. I found I’ve had to do that a couple time in my life. You nailed that part perfectly. I wonder if you expanded this piece, if she would keep that detachment. Would she avenge her sister? You have to make this into a longer story. Here’s mine: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/fixer-upper-friday-flash-fiction.html

  9. Simple, harsh and with an affecting repetition of ‘clean’.

    Here’s mine: http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/the-beholder/

  10. good story; ‘more than died’ definitely gives the idea that she will be doing whatever possible to preserve her sister’s memory……i dread to think what she had to clean up

  11. I really like this story – the living sister is shell-shocked, and concerned only with preserving the memory/reputation of her dead sister. This is exactly what happens in real life!

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