Her heart was absent.
She could faintly register the sounds of people laughing, talking, smiling. Carefree, a completely different world.
There was a cavern in her chest. The only thing in her mind as she stared out the empty window was ‘where is he?‘
She never thought it would come to this point, silently waiting for him to come over that crest and smile at her again, the old routine, before joining the party. And she would smile back, because her spirits would lift again, and she could go on with her life knowing he was there, absence lifted…
But it was getting late now, and he did so often come late that it figured this would happen. But it had already been several hours, and she could no longer pretend she was enjoying the party without him.
He would come over that crest any moment now, she was sure. He had no idea her happiness hinged on his arrival, or surely he wouldn’t be this late. She wished she had the strength to tell him, to blame him, but that infectious smile blazed her world alight, made it seem not so cold…
The next day, she saw the news. Dead in a car crash, on the highway over. Reckless driving, was the cold conclusion.
Her heart was dead.
—
Prompt from Trifecta.
September 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Oh. My! Not the ending I expected as I waited for him with her. I could feel the intensity, her intensity.
September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm
Yeah this is really intense π And it is such a good ending! A great piece of writing π
September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm
The anticipation here is painful — and what a terrible end to it. Nicely done.
September 6, 2012 at 12:46 am
Intense writing. You’ve managed to put so much feeling into so little words. I felt her pain.
September 6, 2012 at 1:58 am
Her heart was dead. There is no better way to describe what she just had gone through. And how sad, that he never knew. Very well done.
September 6, 2012 at 5:32 am
Perfect ending. Heartbreaking.
September 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Oh this is really sad! The way she waits and hopes but I get the feeling no one else realizes she feels that way about him. Good job! π
September 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm
That’s the feeling I was going for, so it’s good to know it landed right on target. π Thanks!
September 7, 2012 at 8:35 am
You really conveyed well that feeling of anxiety and helplessness of waiting for a loved one. It’s overwhelming and hard to focus on anything else.
This week we were looking for the word absence, instead of absent.
Thanks for joining us again and we look forward to reading more of your work.
September 7, 2012 at 8:42 am
No worries.
And I did kind of mean it as a theme as well as a word. Her heart is absent, her loved one is absent… I didn’t know it had to precise, not a variation but the word itself.
I’ll remember that for future. (Funny this is the first time its come up though, considering all the times I’ve played…)