littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

Five Sentence Fiction – Empty

10 Comments

What’s harder than six sentences? Five! Here’s my entry for Five Sentence Fiction.

Her chest suffocated under the pressure of the question. Her mind rambled, not really giving her a clear answer. She was holding her breath.

“No,” she said. “I don’t care about about people; when have they ever cared about me?”

Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

10 thoughts on “Five Sentence Fiction – Empty

  1. Quite thought provoking. For some reason after reading your FFS endeavor for this week, and then reading your Bio blurp; I got an imagine in which I saw you as possibly being the person you wrote about. There’s a feeling of being cynical about life itself not taking the path both you and your character has in mind it taking.

    • I’m impressed by your perception. I think you may have a point; I generally do make a point of putting myself even into my fiction.

      • THANK YOU for your compliment. For some reason many times I’m able to read between the lines and get to the real story lurking there. If you haven’t done so already I’d love to read your comment for my endeavor for this week’s prompt of empty

  2. This is full of pain and emotion.

  3. Such a sad story of lonliness – to often people feel like they aren’t heard.

  4. This is something too many of us can relate to. I could feel the pressure, building like a panic attack…

  5. Wow! This one was a real kick in the gut. Kudos for packing such a punch in so few words.

  6. I liked the intensity and honesty of her response, although the question obviously disturbed her, she let her true feelings come out, and we can understand how she might feel that way.

  7. Wow. You really packed in a lot of emotion and feeling into five short sentences. Well done.

  8. I agree with Josie! There is such an honesty to these sentences. Something we may all have thought before, but would be too afraid to say out loud. I love the raw emotion here. Nicely done!!

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