littlewonder2

Little wonder we stumble in life.

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“I don’t want my body to be dangerous.”

“Yes, you do.”

I laugh, turn my head away. “No, not like that. Like this,” I say, holding out my arms before me, looking at them, signifying nothing. “I don’t want to be dangerous.”

“You killed a man.”

“Yes, I know. Not like that, I don’t mind that much at all…” I said.

“Then what?”

“You know what.”

His eyes light up, he laughs. “You’re embarrassed? Are you ashamed?”

“No, I’m not ashamed. I’m proud of my sexuality, I just… don’t want it to be a weapon. I don’t want to be vulnerable like that, I don’t want to be a whore. I can’t pretend to be proud of it like that. And I know it’s all bullshit, how people see me, and I can’t help hating them for it, but I just… don’t want to be seen like that. Like a lover.”

“You’d much rather be a fighter. What, you’d rather kill me?”

“No, it’s not like that –”

“That’s exactly what it’s like. You want to join men’s wars? You want to fight? You want to be a man –?”

“No, I just want to be treated the same,” I say.

“You’re only human,” he says. “You’re naked sometimes too –”

“I know. I just don’t want it to make me different. I’m not your object.”

“I know that. If anything, I’m yours.”

I smile, knowing he’s only saying that to make me feel better, but I don’t care. “Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate that.”

Author: littlewonder2

I'm 25, and I blog to improve my writing; I want to be good enough to be published. I also studied Japanese when I was younger. Luckily, I'll be able to continue those studies along with Creative Writing next year in University.

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